The Wake-Up Calls

One day, I woke up and I was divorced.  That title not only frightened me, but placed a cloud over my head. I felt like everyone was looking at me and talking about me. My title had become "The woman who's husband left her while she was pregnant...she must be crazy".

How would I survive this?   Month 5 in my pregnancy (1st pregnancy) and I was alone..I delivered Andrew without his daddy (something I now regret), and lived alone, and no one was here to help me.

Let me start from the beginning.  I was an overweight teen.  I struggled with self-esteem and never thought of myself as pretty, or someone that anyone would want to date.  Growing up overweight and with psoriasis, I found myself alone.  I spent many days in tears. My childhood feels more like a blur.  I really chose to be unhappy. When I went to college on a track scholarship to throw the discus I only gained more weight.  I continued to struggle even more with my weight.  Before my sophomore year of college I went on this huge diet and lost about 3o pounds before I went back to school.  I got so many compliments from friends, and had guys actually paying attention to me that I started to think that as long as I was thin then I could have it all.  I lost almost 90 pounds.  It took a couple years to get that weight off and I have kept it off for 14 years...However, losing weight didn't change things for me..Sometimes it has made life harder. So I dumped my high school sweetheart, one of the nicest and most generous men I know, the only man who dated the fat me. I became a serial dater and really developed the attitude that no one was good enough for me. Fast forward a bit and I started dating a man while I was a teacher and got married after two years.  We divorced after a few months together.  More reasons for me to feel like a failure in my life...

So there you have it in a nut shell. Already divorced once, weight struggles and psoriasis. Poor me, right?!? So I decided to try yahoo personals to find a mate after I moved to Colorado for a new start.  I finally after many attempts met someone online who wrote eloquent words, had a great job, was handsome and sincere....The man any woman would be lucky to have. Any "normal" woman, which I was far from.  Our first date he brought a single rose and took me to Paggliaccis in Denver, Co. He was handsome, tall, short haircut, good car, great job, opened doors, could dance, kiss...yes he could kiss!

We moved very quickly. He seemed like the perfect person for me. I had done things so wrong the first time and wasn't going to let it happen again. We had our challenges from intimacy to control.  But, our lives were about to get very bumpy....The next 6 years are a crazy ride!

To Be Cont.........................